The Nest May Be Empty, But My New Season is Full of Potential...

Have you reached that point where your “nest” is empty? Maybe everyone cleared out a longtime ago or maybe it’s only been recently. You might be used to living in an emptied nest or just now getting used to it. I can remember like it was yesterday when our last child left home. As much as I had boasted how I would behave when it finally happened, I didn’t react that way at all. After raising four children, survived decades of cooking, cleaning up behind people, acting as peacemaker, doing endless laundry and all the things that come with raising children, taking care of a household, not to mention juggling duties as a pastor’s wife, I was certain empty-nesting would be a breeze; a season of life I would be celebrating nonstop.

I have no shame to say I didn’t throw that party and celebrate nonstop as I planned. In fact, my soul felt as empty as my home, as empty as my womb that had stopped carrying children decades before. Not only did I not celebrate the day our youngest moved out, I found myself struggling emotionally and having crying bouts. I found comfort sitting in the rocker I had moved into our daughter’s vacated room. It was comforting talking with God in quiet and pondering where did I go from here.”  

While my husband threw himself into work. Carrying on with the things he normally did throughout his week: call on sick members, prepare sermons for the coming week, teach Bible classes. Outwardly he seemed to be doing well. It would be some time before he felt free to talk about the deep emotions he was feeling and processing at the time. To me it looked like he was doing well.

Each day after seeing him get in the car, head to the church and start his day I would begin crying out to the Lord. “What am I supposed to do now, God!?” It’s not as if I didn’t have plenty to do. As church organist, devotional writer, Women’s Ministries leader which included teaching weekly Bible classes and providing counseling, I had plenty to do. Problem was I could not bring myself to do any of it.

It took months before the feeling of accomplishment and completeness took hold and my spirit was strengthened. What a feat! My husband and I had managed to raise good people, smart people, people who were kindhearted, hard-working, had integrity, people who loved the Lord.

Slowly I opened my ears and heart to what God was speaking to me, the truth He was planting in my spirit. My physical nest may have been empty, but my potential was not depleted, my season of raising children may have been over but I had a new season in front of me; my future was like a blank canvas just waiting to be painted.

God made it clear up to that point when my nest became empty, I had been hiding behind motherhood, marriage, my role as a pastor’s wife, using these as an excuse for only going so far, not digging deep or planting seeds that would grow in my soul’s womb. Truth was, my nest may have been empty, my children grown and living their own lives, but I was far from finished birthing. I still had so much to bring to life, so much of what I had planned and waited for was now ready to come to life.

The more I let the Lord in, the more my heart was healed and my soul refreshed, the more my joy returned, and a wonderful feeling of freedom and newfound confidence and excitement took hold. More and more I recognized I was a woman in the prime of life, no children to raise, nothing to keep me from pursuing the things that were important to me; things I had put on the back burner and now was the best time of life to thrive.

Looking back, it would have been so helpful to have had a Christ-centered life coach to help me navigate that difficult time. Today as I coach women in transition, whether it’s empty-nesting or another kind, I know the right questions to ask, I can help her understand why she’s struggling and most importantly I can help connect to God’s plans for her life, explore her possibilities, envision her future, move past, move forward and come out thriving.

Spiritual Nugget for Thriving

They all joined together constantly in prayer, along with the women and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brothers. –Acts 1:14

Prayer:

Lord, my physical nest may be empty, but my soul is ready to be filled up (again) with ideas for birthing